Sunday, July 03, 2005

My poor head

It is again all over the place. I don't know what to do for the best and cannot believe I have allowed a bunch of people to cause me such pain and misery. Last night I tried to tie up a few loose ends and tried to build some bridges and tried to chat about why I have left. I wanted to try and explain that I realised I was ill and it wasn't all their fault but I left before I got worse. Anyway in the usual typical way these things go I hadn't got very far before it was decided that they absolutely had to go offline at that exact moment. It always happens and it always hurts:just when I need to talk they disappear or on other occasions trawl out all their problems and then leave. I give up now as this is mean't to be a supportive group but I was not the agony aunt and needed some help myself but never ever got it and in fact I have given so much and had so much of my spirit sapped from me its just not worth it.
I want to be that happy person again, the one who laughed and saw the fun in life and its not just them but they are a big part of why I am the crumbling mess I am at this point in time but now the loose ends are tied we can all move forward.

3 comments:

Gina said...

{{{Hugs}}}} Michelle.

Lorna said...

{{{{{Michelle}}}}}

Scully said...

Michelle, it's good to see you have somewhere to express these feelings. I know you said you didn't want to on here, but it will be a good part of the healing process whilst you get through this. You know that amongst many others, I am at the end of a computer line and any time you see me there you can chew my ear off if necessary. I have very large ears......
{hugs}