Friday, August 26, 2005

Having a chilled day

I think I have rather over done stuff the last few weeks so I am taking the chance to just be quiet today and recharge my batteries. Next week promises to be a busy and in some respects difficult week as I don't have a day to myself until the Sunday. Tuesday I am back at the fracture clinic for more x-rays and assessments. This time the foot should be healed as it been out of plaster 6 weeks now and although it feels better it is certainly not perfect. I am expecting the worst but hoping for the best on that front. Thursday I am off to the country house where we are holding the fun day to help get some of the preparations underway. Then the Saturday is the day itself which I am both looking forward to and dreading. I am looking forward to it as its a great and positive thing to be doing in Sara's memory and it should also be lots of fun as well. But I am dreading it as I know it will be hard work which is not the real issue here as I am worried that no one will turn up, the weather will be bad etc etc. However the thing I am really starting to worry about is the group I left as some of the ex-members will be there and although we have communicated since and there is no animosity I just don't quite know how to handle them. I think alot of this stems from the fact that I am still so confused about everything that went on. Although I know it was right of me to leave when and why I did I think the day maybe emotional at the best of times without revisitng those old wounds as well.
I have been doing alot of thinking about lots of these issues and many surrounding them lately and although I am in less pain than I was emotionally I was pushed so far down that its going to take a long time to get back up again. However yesterday I felt ridiculously happy for most of the day so at least I know days like that are possible again. But its been tempered by a weepy day today which I imagine was inevitable especially as I dialysed which seems to make me more tired and weepy anyway.
This weekend is a bank holiday but it never really feels like one in this house as both my parents have retired and I still have to go for dialysis on Monday. However I always try and do something slightly out of the norm to make up for it. I was thinking of having a stitching weekend but thats not going to happen as I will be making last minute preparations for the fun day. This will be especially to do with my cards etc as they need pricing and labelling up as to what the greeting inside is. I will post a picture of them all at some point. I am at 42 made cards now and hope to get to 50 by Sunday and that will be it then.
Tonight I am chilling out with Midi I and generally relaxing as much as possible.

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