Monday, June 13, 2005

Unleashing the creativity

I know I have it in me to be creative but I am not any good at drawing etc but during the evening after long chats with Claire I am learning how to unleash it on the blogging world-heaven help you all. Its early days at the moment but I am hoping that I will have a lovely blog to look at and read eventually.
The not so good stuff of this evening is that I seem to have two distinct camps in my life. My stitching friends are nothing but fab and I know they are there just for a chat or a laugh about anything and everything. The other camp is the people left in the voluntary group. I kind of feel left out in the cold. I have been feeling like this for quite some time now and I think alot of it is to do with the fact that all but one of them are male and although we all get on its not going to be the same easy going relationship that it is with other females. I also believe it is because the girl who set up the group died last year and we were extremely close and were on the phone several times a week for at least an hour at a time talking about anything and everything. So I miss her interaction in the group as well as her as a friend and nothing has felt quite right since. One of my main problems is I feel that in some ways because I was so close to her I should have had more support from them in the last few months but instead I found myself supporting them through it all and when I really started to suffer with it I went through it alone. However it never helps to know that they are all talking to others who are supposedly in need but no one contacts me. I have an inferiority complex at the best of times but this makes me wonder even more if I am a good friend or if maybe my strong exterior fools people as to how the inside feels just a little too well.
Anyway thats enough of that as I want this to be a happy place and not full of the times I feel miserable. After all I shouldn't tar them all with the same brush because one or two have been very good to me and even if I walk away permanently I have made some good friends and some really great memories.


Laurie said...

You certainly have a lot to go through. I'm sad that the group of people seems to be fairly distant in supporting you when you need them. I have a lot of friends who take my emotional support but don't seem to have the time to listen when i need them, so i can relate to that matter.. I do find it very inspiring that you don't want to only focus on that bad moments. I just started blogging too, and for some reason I've been using mine for more of a negative outlet than positive, so hopefully I can follow suit and begin rehashing more than just the downside of life :)
Well I hope you don't mind that I randomly found you and posted! I'll definately drop in soon and see how you're doing. (I hope I get the hang of this blogging thing!) take care :)

Michelle said...

Hiya Laurie. Its nice to meet you. I think some people are natural listeners and sort people out but they are always the ones that others think can cope alone so then don't offer a hand in return. I am really enjoying blogging and had a look at yours and it certainly didn't strike me as overly negative.