Thursday, June 16, 2005

This evening

I have been tearful this evening and I am feeling that I am at a point where I don't know if I will ever feel better. I have so much going on in my life and the pressure is getting too much again. What I think I will have to do is work out the things I can sort and then try and let go of the rest of it until it gets sorted one way or another.
I got a phone call from the head of the group I left and that set me off even more because although it isn't all totally my fault there is alot of deep running threads going through this that its become a big part of how I am feeling. I suppose I still feel I let my friend who died down by walking away and if I had stuck with it then maybe we could have all pulled together more. But on reflection I think I am not realising that I am only one person and can only do so much, but it is part of my natural character to sort things and make things right again.
Other than that my order from this morning is on its way. Unfortunately I found out that my friend is going to be away for her birthday so will get her presents and card late. If I had known or remembered (can't be sure she didn't tell me) then I would have been more organised. Thankfully she is very forgiving and I am sure she won't mind and on the plus side the fob might have arrived too. I just hope as she is away camping the forecast for the weekend stays like it is supposed to be for the whole week and she has a nice break.
The cat is still being neurotic about my crutches and I imagine he will just be getting used to them when it all reverts to normal and even that will probably spook him.


Scully said...

Michelle...#1 priority here is yourself. From what I know, you and S were very close friends, believe me, she will be more upset that you are getting yourself down, than the fact that you are letting her down by leaving that group...simpy because you aren't letting her down, they are!
Soz I've not been around the last few has taken a lot of them up, but I'll hopefully catch you over the weekend. Take care...and look after you before anyone else...well OK...the cat can get looked afer too ;)

Michelle said...

Scully only just seen your comment and its sooo true that it is them letting her down not me. Hope you enjoyed the last few days even if you didn't get to be all posh lol.