If I am not around much

Its because I have a new toy. Today I got a Nintendo DS, which I have been wanting to get since Christmas. I kept wondering if I would play with it or really like it but decided what the hell-lifes too short. I have been researching packages and nearly got one in Argos this week but then today online it said they were out of stock again. So as mum was going into town to the hairdressers and as I was feeling ok after dialysis I decided to go and check it out for myself in case they were wrong online. As I was doing a recce of the shops I came across a fabulous deal in Game which had the exact 3 games I wanted with some accesories for a very good price indeed. It was more than Argos but overall it was too good an offer to pass up and when I was speaking to the guy in the shop and he was pointing out what was included he said it was a very good offer indeed. They were out of one of the games so I am having one reserved in the next delivery for collection sometime next week.
I always feel guilty buying stuff for myself but I had always intended on using my £100 lottery winnings at Christmas for one and have a very healthy bank balance at the moment and with my stress levels and feeling so down I felt it was time to treat myself. Ok I have bought quite a bit of stash lately too but nothing huge or ridiculously exspensive and now I am on the wagon for a bit. But I am in a devil may care attitude at the moment and I want to just relax and have fun-something that hasn't happened for awhile.
So I may not be around for a bit as I will be busy playing the games I have and hopefully destressing-but thats obviously inbetween the OU work lol. Which is one of the reasons I got it today-guilt free as I don't study on a dialysis day. Tomorrow I would have been torn on which to do first lol.

It's all happening this week!!

Phew what a week and it's only Wednesday. Firstly I have a HD of another knitting piece. This time its a scarf for mum which is in Patons Whisper again, but this time is in the Nutmeg colour. Not sure where they got the name from as I thought nutmeg was more orangey/brown than this but its nice anyway and mum is chuffed to bits-good job she chose the colour by look rather than name though:



Secondly I am trying to get my 7th assignment in-can you believe we are on number 7 already? Where has the last 6 months gone? Anyway its going well but I am becoming obsessed with tweaking it and its becoming a bit ridiculous. I am not saying anything else, just changing the way I exspress it so maybe I should just read it through and email it. I think this time I am a bit more nervous as this one is 15% of the final grade which is the highest so far as all others have been 10%. What am I going to be like in 4 weeks when the 20% one needs to be put in. Arrghhhh.
Thirdly although I am not going into details here major things are going on with the group and none of its pleasent. I am just so relieved to be out of it, but unfortunately a few people are under more stress now trying to put an impossible situation right.
Right anything else? I think thats it-just seems like a jumble of stuff all happening at once but most of it is good stuff and the bad-well can stand back and just wait and see now.
One more thing I have just remembered is that I have finished Labyrinth by Kate Mosse. It was quite a good book, but in some places I got a bit confused as there were alot of characters spanning different centuries and as I am a slow reader I did get lost at times. Anyway for those who like a mystery with a twist, or archaelogical stories its worth a try. Mum is borrowing it next, but get in contact if you want to borrow it after. I have now started The Da Vinci code and that is promising as I am flying through that and it looks to be different but every bit as good as Angels and Demons.

Good day

Today has been a really good productive day. My friend Jane from Cornwall was in the area this weekend so she picked me up this morning and we went into town for a spot of shopping, tea drinking and a gossip. I managed to get two nice tops from Next. One was a sporty white long sleeved white top with a bright pink sleeveless hoodie over the top which came as one piece but will be a great mix and match set, for spring, summer and autumn. The other was a crinkle long sleeved top with embroidery and applique on it. Also good for the 3 seasons but will be cool in a heat wave too because of its material. I am trying to find some light long sleeved tops this year as I don't like showing the arm where I have dialysis as its pretty yucky but also don't want to boil in cardigans. So I am getting stuff when I see it as so many times I lose out thinking it will still be there in a few weeks.
I got home earlier than I thought so managed to crack on with my essay and have made huge in roads into it, so I don't feel as panicky as I did about getting this one in on time. Its weird because although I have sort of seen a slow upward climb in demand on this course it really has suddenly changed pace, and I can see how its preparing us for a course at the next level. Its quite subtle and also very manageable as its been very well structured that its not until you have done it do you realise you have gone up a gear.
Then tonight I stitched on MIX-I finally finished part 1 last night and as I have been stitching part 2 at times along the way I am not far off finished with that either. Now I can see the textures coming in its starting to look good and even though I have been cussing and swearing with the perle stuff its been well worth it.
Then to round off my day nicely I won £10 on the Thunderball lottery and I am trying to remember how much I have won this year but can't-but also didn't report the £5 won last week so I am doing ok.

Hope you are all having a good weekend too.

Good/bad fracture clinic news

I am back and a bit confused but its starting to make some sense. Apparently its not healed and probably never will be. :-( But as it has plenty of fibrous tissue supporting it then no long term harm will be done. So the plan is to leave it unless it starts causing problems in the future and I have an open appointment for 12 months so can go back easily in that period if it causes problems. Not that I was oppered one but, I think on balance the risk of an operation with complications of bleeding and infection compared with the fact its not presently causing a problem with every day life this is the best step to take-no pun intended lol. I may think about asking my consultant to refer me to someone in Bristol for a second opinion as I know how frightened my local hospital is of kidney patients but I would refuse to have the operation there anyway for just that reason.

So lots to muse on and think about but I think the result could have been worse.

Another week gone

I am getting lax at thsi blogging lark but the truth is I just seem to be so busy. Thats not a bad thing as it means I don't have to think too much about stuff as when I do my anxiety kicks right in again.
So what am I busy with? Its mainly study and more study as the last few blocks of this course are really intensive. We are already at an end of block 6 and now in reading week but I am playing catch up and will probably have to work very hard at getting this assignment done. This one is non-substitutable and has a higher threshold-its also worth the most so far at 15%. We have until the 31st but when you factor out 6 days for dialysis it leaves little time to finish the block and write the assignment and fit in life around it. Tuesday I have the fracture clinic again lol but luckily as its early in the morning it shouldn't have too much time to get behind but depending on what they say depends how much study I feel like doing. I know almost instinctively that its not healed but I am hoping that my feeling of progress is not wishful thinking. I really, really don't want a bone graft and have a deal to broach with them lol. When I went in December they wanted my calcium higher and my consultant immediately changed my drugs which made only a small difference and its only 3 weeks ago they they have been more radically changed. So I am hoping that they will hold off from the bone graft and from what I gather if its even improved a bit they will just keep seeing me until its done.
So then I have Thursday free to study and Saturday my friend Jane is in the area so we are going shopping and having a girlie day-much needed but probably no study time lol. She has 2 family weddings to go to this year and we are going to look at some outfits and generally have a catch up.
Craft wise I am doing bits and pieces-finishing mums knitted scarf, little amounts of MIX and some of my rotation. I want to start several things and can't decide whether to or not. I haven't really got time to stitch too much at the moment but it would also be nice to have a few smaller pieces on the go. Although yes they are smaller but I want to make them into a bigger picture such as Bent Creek's Winter Snapperville. I am going to do this with the border and as one big picture-so four small charts becomes quite big lol. I am also wanting to start my Kats by Kelly year long wall hanging. They release two monthly themed Mini Kat deigns every other month or so which again are small but there are 12 of them lol. I also have to count these as a wip until the entire thing is done the same as I do with the Chatelaine mysteries so my wip count just increases. But they also make for some quick designs and a good thing to stitch after dialysis.
Anyway think that is that for now but hope you are all ok and will try and post on Tuesday with the news from the fracture clinic whether that is good or bad.

Tutorial and small HD

I went to my first tutorial yesterday and the 3 hours just flew. It was great to meet everyone and put names to faces as we have studied for around 5 months on a message board together but most of us had never met. There was a tutorial right at the beginning of the course but I and most others didn't make it for various reasons. I didn't feel like the fish out of water I was worried about being and now have more confidence both personally and with the course.
Then yesterday evening I finished up the square that is going to be part of a quilt in memory of Laura from the stitching community. Laura sadly passed away last month and it has been organised by some of her friends as a gift for her family so they can appreciate how well thought of she was. I chose to do the square that Teresa Wentzler adapted for my 30th birthday quilt last year and I stitched it in Laura's favourite purple colurs:



Out of courtesy I emailed Teresa to check it was ok to use and she was honoured to have its conclusion in the project. I felt it was appropriate as its something that defines me and my place in the online stitching community as well as being designed by someone whos board Laura was part of.
Today I am pretty tired after yesterday's busy day but finished up the next piece in my rotation plus a few minutes more to finish a thread lol, and have also completed my studies for the day. So for the rest of the day I plan to chill out and knit, stitch or surf.
This week is looking fairly quiet so far with a short appointment Thursday morning and getting some more study done inbetween.

New stash

For someone who is on the wagon I seem to be getting quite a few stash parcels through lol. Yesterday I got the winter snapperland border and fabric package and two of the charts as well as the snapperville border package. I also bought Just Nans newest Tulip time and the limited edition frost flower that has a frame and organza pouch which is just beautiful. But all of the above apart from the Just Nan limited were on such a good offer that I couldn't resist.
Then today I received some threads and a kit. The threads were a mixture of lots of black for my Kats by Kelly monthly wallhanging-which may wait to next year now and some purples for Laura's quilt project. Laura sadly passed away in February and was well known in the sttichers community so in memory we are stitching squares up to be made into a quilt in her memory. I have chosen to stitch the Teresa Wentzler square that was an adaptation she did for my 30th birthday quilt. I thought this would be a nice choice as it is personal to me, can be done in the colours Laura loved and also be the right size and easily accomplishable in the time scale. The kit I got was the new Heritage one by Margaret Sherry called Home is where the cat is. I fell in love with it instantly the minute I saw a picture in a magazine and just had to have it. I plan to stitch it on a hand dyed fabric but not sure what yet. The evenweave fabric in the kit was such good quality-far beyond anything I own so I am using that for Laura's quilt square. I hoped it would be usuable for this as believe it or not I have no 28ct evenweave in a neutral colour lol and the quality was a bonus.

New stash

For someone who is on the wagon I seem to be getting quite a few stash parcels through lol. Yesterday I got the winter snapperland border and fabric package and two of the charts as well as the snapperville border package. I also bought Just Nans newest Tulip time and the limited edition frost flower that has a frame and organza pouch which is just beautiful. But all of the above apart from the Just Nan limited were on such a good offer that I couldn't resist.
Then today I received some threads and a kit. The threads were a mixture of lots of black for my Kats by Kelly monthly wallhanging-which may wait to next year now and some purples for Laura's quilt project. Laura sadly passed away in February and was well known in the sttichers community so in memory we are stitching squares up to be made into a quilt in her memory. I have chosen to stitch the Teresa Wentzler square that was an adaptation she did for my 30th birthday quilt. I thought this would be a nice choice as it is personal to me, can be done in the colours Laura loved and also be the right size and easily accomplishable in the time scale. The kit I got was the new Heritage one by Margaret Sherry called Home is where the cat is. I fell in love with it instantly the minute I saw a picture in a magazine and just had to have it. I plan to stitch it on a hand dyed fabric but not sure what yet. The evenweave fabric in the kit was such good quality-far beyond anything I own so I am using that for Laura's quilt square. I hoped it would be usuable for this as believe it or not I have no 28ct evenweave in a neutral colour lol and the quality was a bonus.

The weekend

I have finished studying for the weekend because I am so tired and trying to conserve my energy. At times it feels like I am running on empty at the moment but need to keep as fit as possible as it is the last couple of months of the course, plus some other stresses will be coming up. I also missed studying on Thursday as I had a weird reaction to Tuesday or possibly some kind of bug-I am not sure, but that has also stressed me out as I am worried about falling behind.
Anyway yesterday I slept in and then me and mum went for our Saturday morning browse round town and I spent the afternoon studying. Then in the evening I got loads of stitching done on MIX whilst watching the final of Dancing on ice. That was amazing as they flew in this last show and the poor guy Stefan Booth looked like he was going to be sick at the end but he went on to come second with Gaynor Faye winning. It was a really good show and I wonder what will replace it-on the adverts its suggestive that they are doing premier movies soon which will also be good.
Today I was up early and did a little more on my rotation piece-MVI and then spent about 3 hours studying and I am now quite tempted to go and watch a film and do some knitting. But I also seem to be strangely addicted to the net at the moment but I think relaxation wise the film and crafts of some sort might be a better bet.
This week is fairly quiet so far. I am off to the hairdressers for a trim on Thursday-had to cancel my last appointment for Thursday just gone when I was ill. Then next Saturday is a day tutorial in Bristol which I am determined to go to. As a tutor group we have been speaking on the message board since October now so it will be great to meet them all in person. So thats it for the coming week so far apart from more studying and maybe the odd trip into won.

Have a good week all.

So whats been happening?

Its been a busy and stressful time since I last posted. Last Tuesday I went to a mini GTG in Bristol with Amanda, Lorna and Karoline and it was a really great day. We went to St Nicholas market and had a browse round as well as visiting the craft shop there. I got some stash for card making which included some lovely cute small narrow cards and several sheets of peel offs. Then we adjourned to a nearby cafe for coffee and a chat. All too soon Lorna had to leave to get her bus home in time to get her girls from school, so we went to the House of Fraser to look at their small craft section. I got two balls of Paton's Lush wool in Carnival to make a scarf with and Amanda bought a kit. Then we had a spot of late lunch, some more tea and coffee and it was then time for me to leave the other two and make my way home. The time just flew and I hope the others had just as good a day as I did.
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful but on Friday I did get my lastest assignment back and got my worst mark at 65% but I can live with that as it wasn't too bad considering the subject matter. I was really stressed when studying the block that this was about and wasn't sure how effectively I took it all in so am quite happy to get a decent pass.
The weekend was spent studying and starting my scarf with the Patons yarn. It was also when I started to seriously stress out about everything again. I knew the reason was because I had clinic coming up but it doesn't stop the stress.
Which brings me to yesterday. I went to clinic and it does appear I never needed to be taken off the list and I am more than inclined to believe it is the surgeon who has been blocking things so I had my say. I said I was disgusted that he could do that and now act unsure whether to say yes or no now. I think he should either stand by his convictions or admit he made a mistake but that is where I leave it now. I decided not to make a formal complaint as I don't want to ailenate those helping me now and I don't think it would achieve anything anyway. What happens now is that another surgeon at the unit has agreed on principle to do the operation but wants to see me first, so I will see him at some point and then decide whether to relist for a transplant, once the risks have been weighed up. So after nipping to The Mall at Cribbs Causeway we came home and I got my knitting out, only to find there is a problem with one fo the balls of wool and its knitting up totally differently. Its so bad as to be unusuable so the piece has been retired and I am thinking of contacting Patons but as I don't have the wool band off the first ball I don't know if I have any recourse. Just as I was going online I noticed it was snowing and the poor cat had little snowflakes on his head and as its rare to get snow I guess he was wondering what it was.
This morning I got up for dialysis and mum came in and said that it was snowing steadily and there was a layer on the ground-but nothing was there when she got up, so it really did came down. By the time we had gone 3 miles to the hospital the snow had more or less gone and they didn't have the sharp shower we had. I guess its got to start and stop somewhere but it was quite odd and since getting home its snowed on and off but not really settled or come to anything.
So thats my week, both good and bad and I will try and post more regularly soon.

Round we go again

Just starting my rotation for the 5th time round now and no changes. Its working well and progress is being made on these 5 pieces so I am sticking with it for the moment.
This year I am not religiously keeping up with my Chatelaines and have decided to just stitch them inbetween my rotation if I feel like it or pop them into my rotation at a later date.
I think the only way to get my WIP count down this year is to stick to the rotation and try the tactic of finish 2 start one but only if its a despearate need. So far I have started MIX this year and the baby hat, but have finished the hat and two other things so I am doing ok.
Talking of the baby hat, I got a thank you letter and picture today and it looks great. The baby was even wearing the outfit I bought her when she was born-not sure if that was coincidence but was lovely to see.
My 6th assignment went in this week and that means we are 2/3 through-time has really flown on this one, but its been great.

Phone update

So far so good. I have received and sent texts-well once I got the text prediction thing switched off. I wanted to write NOT which is so simple but instead it made Noomuuu. I think that was Moomin speak lol, but now got that sorted and so far no more freezing going on.
My phone is slightly different to the picture I posted as it has an all pink key pad with charcoal/black lettering which lights up to a snazzy blue. The charm is also not quite as pink as that and has a pale pink strap. Otherwise its the same and I 'think' the changes might be from ultra limited edition to special edition. Judging by the number of poppy phones out there this edition I got is certainly not ultra limited and I do know that one had donations to breast cancer care. I am not sure whether this one has actually but it is a lovely phone and fingers crossed it carries on behaving.

Knitted baby hat with ears

I finished this tonight:




It is my first knitted garment finish. It is for a 3-6 month old baby and is knitted in Sirdar Snowflake DK prints in the lilac colourway.
I only needed a small portion of help with a small part of the pattern and with sewing the ears on. Otherwise it is all my own work lol.

Watch this space!!!!

Not long after I last posted I went back to my phone and it started freezing. After much playing about, changing of settings and head scratching I decided to restore it to the default settings, charge it up and leave it alone for a bit. So far it is ok and is behaving as I would expect but watch this space as I may have to rename myself mobile phone killer lol.

New phone

Well folks I had to go into town and get a new mobile today. Mine was only 4 months old and was a 30th birthday present from mum and dad. But last night it just wouldn't stay switched on. So we came to an agreement in that we would send it back to Orange as we got it online and if they send a replacement mum and dad would have it. So with that in mind they would give me some money towards a new one as they are unhappy my birthday pressie has broken. After much looking round town I got this little number:





Its so gorgeous and not too exspensive either. I am really pleased with it even if it was completely unscheduled and not on my agenda at all.
However I am to say the least a bit miffed with the other phone going wrong after such a short time which is one of the reasons I went for a different make and bought from a local shop this time.

Forgot to say

How could I forget to post that last Saturday I used a Christmas voucher towards A-Ha's new album Analogue. It is absolutely brilliant with a fabulous mixture of mellow and rock and Morten Harkett sounds as great as ever. They also came into the charts straight at number 10 last week with the single Analogue (all I want).

Long may they live. :-)

Whats been happening in the last week?

Well this last week has been mostly ok but there have been some down points. Lets look at the good first. I managed to reach the final in the Silkweavers contest with this:



I was really pleased as this was the first time I entered the competition and out of the 4 pieces I submitted this was my favourite. It was also the only one I didn't stitch in mind for the competition but just liked the threads on the fabric and the scan came out well too.
Also good is that the new machines started to arrive at the unit last week and I have now been on them 3 times. I can honestly say I don't feel as drained after dialysis each time on these and I am hoping this is good for the future as we will have 10 of these eventually. I should get to be on them most of the time as I need a special facility on them to help me not develop a long-term condition, which they felt I may have but its looking likely it was something else more minor. Actual results come out on this at my next clinic appointment but as the symptoms have gone with making my calcium higher I think it was probably that.
The bad is all wrapped up round this illness. I have felt mostly ok but I am to say the least tortured about what to do in regards my transplant options. Since walking away from the group it hightlights how isolated I also feel now in the kidney world, but that began even before Sara's death. We were each others kidney rock as well as normal every day life supporters and its so difficult to bear the loss. I just so miss the phone ringing every other day for a gossip and general chat. If Sara wasn't ringing me I often rang her and it was few days that would pass without us speaking either about the group and work we were doing or just about anything and everything.
Its funny as I have had many good friends in my life and a couple go back to school or college days but there was just something about this friendship. It was the kind that makes you believe you have known each other forever, the kind that knows exactly what that person felt about most things. In a nutshell it was a rare thing which makes it all the more difficult to bear. There are only one or two people who understand what it mean't and it was a wholly mutual thing and its going to be almost impossible to find again. Which is why 7-8 months on from leaving the group it hurts as if it was yesterday and I still ask what I could have done different. Could I have changed the course of events? Could I have coped with it better? Was I wrong to walk away? But each time I come back with a resounding no as it was a set of circumstances and people coming together at a time that wasn't good for me. I wonder if I hadn't had so many health concerns and if I wasn't grieving the loss of a loved friend and determined to keep it how she wanted then maybe it could have been different. But maybe some things are mean't to be and for whatever reason it was my turn to leave.
Maybe I wouldn't have done my course if I hadn't walked away and that is going well and I am doing lots of research into the next one. I have narrowed it down to about 4 lol but at the moment I am seeing how it goes as new courses and pathways are opening up all the time.
Ultimately who knows why some things happen and what the meaning of life is and with the transplant issue I have been considering this alot lately. I have made some decisions which involve me having to have my say over the 4 + years of error and taking it from there. But as usual wherever life takes me I have good friends to see me through and great projects to stitch and knit.:-)

Nothing else to do but!!

I have crossed the stitches and sewn on the 1400 or so beads so theres nothing to do but dance:

Chuffed to bits

Remember that last essay I did that I thought was badly wrong? Well I have just received the results and got 72% again. Furthermore where I thought I had gone wrong was fine and I only lost marks on some more minor things and a couple of omissions in one of the questions.
Other than that things are ok here. I have been having an emotional crisis with the transplant situation and the kidney group taking center stage. After chatting to someone who advises patients and talking through the transplant thing I now have a clearer idea where I stand in attempting to find out what happened. As thought it maybe impossible but has given me some food for thought and I now have a clearer idea of my options. I think I will start off by having a full and frank discussion with my consultant next month and take it from there.
As for the kidney group I am slowly getting there and realise that its affected me very deeply at a time when so much else is going on. There seems a big tanglement of that, Sara's death and the transplant issue all rolled together in a great big ugly knotted ball. I am trying to start at the beginning and unravel it and its not easy emotionally and can at times hurt like hell. Especially as Sara was my sounding board when I was upset and vice versa so the loss is awfully acute still. Also bringing me down are some ongoing health issues. It looks like my haemoglobin isn't shifting as they took it again yesterday after it was only done last Wedsnesday. I was a bit annoyed as I asked the nurse whether it had dropped and she said she wouldn't know as I am not in her team. We have a red and a green team and I am in red and she is senior staff nurse in green. But we are all patients in the unit surely and she could have offered to find out for me, but in the end as the consultant is on his monthly visit today I decided to wait until tomorrow and see what happens. However when you are physically or mentally low this attitude by the staff doesn't help. Incidentally when I blogged awhile ago about wondering if they weren't being open after it was taken last time and they didn't know why I now remember its the same nurse, so she probably didn't know. Obviously that is totally not the point but there is a pattern here lol and that is that even patients within the same unit are boxed off and its a bit mad. Ok rant over. Onto craft stuff. I have just 1 1/2 parts of MVIII to bead so watch out for a HD within days. Then I want to finish knitting my baby hat before shes too old to wear it and then I am going to do MIX on dialysis days and rotation on non-dialysis days for awhile. I hope that I can have several reasonable HD's this year and then start next year with less wips and stash. Cue rampant laughing from the wings.

Another casualty!!!!

Of my computer breaking down is my blog. I decided to mess with the template to get some stuff changed and lost it. With the computer chaos I thought I had saved it but I hadn't so I lost my whole template. Luckily Scully has sorted me out and the only losses are all comments, archives and links to old posts. I did actually figure out how to do both of those but wasn't sure what it would mean for the template so deleted it. Then just as I thought of the answer I had republished this blog.
Oh well I can still read old entries so its no big deal. They start on the 1st Jan so its kind of an unplanned New Year, new start thing.
I must do a write up of my first book finished of 2006 in a couple of days as it was really good and everything the Dan brown hype leads it to be.
As for stitching well I am concentrating on finoshing the beading on MVIII. I have 3 gates and the outside to do which I am reckoning will take between a week and 10 days. This allows for non-stitching days too. So I should have a big HD this year.