I finished this cute Newton's Law yesterday:



I love these designs but the backstitching is not the easiest to follow but the effect you get is well worth it.

There isn't alot of news here at the moment but I am ok and have stabalised health wise from a few months back which has made me feel both physically and mentally better. I did wonder if it was because I was on a break from studying but as it coincided with some changes the medical team made I think it is more likely to be down to that. I hope it down to these changes as I am back to studying again and need to have some energy to take all the new information in.

Pictures

I have a few pictures to share today. First up is Santa of the forest by Lavender and Lace:



I finished this morning and I adore it. This is the first piece I have finished that I have tracked all the way through and if you click on the link to its finish in my side bar you can go back through every step if you so wish.

I have also started my first piece of major knitting which is a chunky cardigan for myself:



It is knitted in the recommended wool-Sirdar tweedie chunky but I am using the roasted berry colour. So far so good.

I also got my OU results and I passed and have gained a diploma in literature. One downside is that an awful lot of us dropped by quite a bit in the exam so many were disappointed with their grades. Overall I got the grade band I expected but had hoped that maybe the exam went well enough to get the next one, but sadly not this time.
I am enjoying my time off studying and managing to get out as much as possible. The weekend away was a great success and we are looking at having another long weekend in the not too distant future.

Still here

I don't really know where to start on this blog so will just plunge on in. I got through my course with a good mark of 78% for that last assignment and an exam which seemed to go ok. I won't know any final results for a good few weeks so am trying to put all that to the back of my mind. I got very stressed out towards the end because in the last couple of months I have been diagnosed with skin cancer and the hives from the last post turned out to be vasculitis. Luckily they got all the cancer in an operation and it has very little chance of returning, but I need to be monitored and the vasculitis seems like a one off but also needs keeping an eye on.

However yesterday I went to clinic with a very long list of issues with the top one being my blood pressure. I am finding it very stressful and because the staff are getting increasingly twitchy about it that has added to how I have felt. I had a full and frank discussion with my consultant but unfortunately as I suspected there are only one or two things they can do to help keep me feeling ok and nothing more can be done to treat it. What has happened is that long term dialysis and/or uraemia-that is the technical name for the toxins in my system that the dialysis can't remove has destroyed some nerve receptors. Therefore the only things known to work are very heavy duty ITU drugs which work directly on the heart and vessels, which is why I would be there for a transplant. I am disappointed nothing can be done as it is impacting on my life, but my mind has been put at rest up to a point because I was getting concerned something serious would happen, especially when I was feeling really fragile after dialysis. If I get to a point when I am passing out there maybe stuff they can try but it is all experimental and my consultant fairly doesn't want to go that route until such a time I physically cannot cope and my life is seriously impaired.

Anyway onto brighter news. With my blood pressure issues I am worried about going on holiday and being cared for in a unit that doesn't know me. But that doesn't mean weekend's away are out and this weekend all being well we are off to a country hotel in Berkshire. The plan is to go to London and Windsor to do some shopping and site seeing and to have a generally chilled out weekend. I am hoping the weather cools down a bit though as it won't be so easy in the temperatures we are having at the moment, but it is looking like it will be better by then thankfully. We haven't made absolute firm plans of what we will be doing as I never quite know how I will feel, but I am determined come what may to make the most of it. I will also be taking a camera so if I can will put some photos here next week. But it does mean that Mack and Mabel will be taking their first holiday in the cattery, which if they knew I don't think they would be all that happy about. They should be fine though as we have used the place before and had no issues, but I think when we pick them up on Monday we will be given the cold shoulder by them.

Talking of Mack and Mabel they are now nearly two which I cannot believe and are both fine, but we don't see either of them much in this weather. When they do venture in they are both freaked out by the fan going in the lounge so only hang around for food at the moment. They are also calming down and although Mack still has his moments with being destructive it is nothing like it was when it nearly sent us demented. They are both really loving and when there isn't a fan in the room will come over for a fuss quite often. Both like their tummies rubbed but Mabel will actually somersault against your leg to tell you which always makes me laugh.

Hello

I thought it was about time I wrote an update here as it has been awhile now. To cut a very long story short I simply haven't felt like blogging, which I think is down to a couple of reasons. I am extremely busy with my course and have absolutely loved it and after a day tutorial at the weekend I am feeling a bit more confident about the exam. I have the final big assignment result to come though which could make or break my grade even before I have opened the exam paper. I have kept up my average from previous courses which is something and learnt alot but there have been difficulties along the way. The major one being my health which has been up and down this year and one of the big problems is with my blood pressure. It has been too low for a long time, but lately it is getting to the point where I am scared of the numbers that are appearing. I have been on medication for it but that is no longer working, so have come off and then partially back on it to see if it can be stabalised a bit. I think I am scared of the worry it may get even lower and the thought of operations-particularly a transplant. I already know it could jeopodise it as it could compromise the blood flow and thus killing the new organ off. I know I would need specialist drugs in theatre and ICU to keep it up higher to try and stop this but despite being told they work well I am less than believing that they will. I do wonder with having so many issues surrounding the liklihood of sucess if it is even fair to accept an offer when someone could take it and have a higher guarantee of a better outcome. But I also feel that if the surgeons are happy to go ahead then they must think there is a reasonable chance this will work and that I also need a break away from the rigors of dialysis.
Therefore all this and more has been going round in my head for some months now and I haven't been able to talk to anyone. I know I have upset and made people feel excluded from my life, but until now it has all seemed too huge for me to process, let alone explain it to others. I want to say sorry to all those who have felt like this and it really wasn't personal, but was the only coping mechanism I had at the time.
I started to write this blog on Saturday and left it for a few days and decided to finish it off today whilst I have some time. I haven't felt like doing much today as yesterday was one of those days where it goes wrong from beginning to end. Before I even left for dialysis Mack had almost strangled himself in the vertical blinds, Mabel was hobbling around and I had come out in a rash. The cats are ok now and the rash is a form of hives I get-don't ask me why as the doctors know its a reaction but we can't pin it down to anything so far. Anyway this time I had assoicated joint pain too so took some painkillers and went to dialysis. I got home mid afternoon having had no dialysis as there was a major fault in the plumbing mechanism so we were told to be prepared to return in the evening or possibly go elsewhere. In the end I was given two options to either go that evening to a unit in Bath which is about an hour away or go into my own this morning but with no guarantees the water would be fixed-so still end up somewhere else. As I had slighlty more fluid on than usual and knowing it is difficult to get off if it went up much more and with no guarantees the unit would be ok today we took the Bath option. It was a beautiful drive over as it is was really pituresque as we go the country way as it is more straightforward for the unit. However it was not so nice coming home as the twisty roads in the dark were awful. Luckily my parents had already agreed to take me if I had to go a long way and I was so appreciative they did as by the time we left I was shattered and tried to sleep but the roads were too bad. By the time we got home at just gone midnight I went straight to bed and mum and dad were not long after.
Sorry this has been a gloomy blog but in better news my stitching rotation is going really well and if you want to see any pictures there is a link in the side bar. I have just finished another whole rotation so there will be some more pictures coming up very soon.

The lazy cats guide to mouse hunting

I can't say for sure it was one of our two 'angels' but the following was found under some wood in the garden this morning:

A dead mouse complete with attached trap.

We don't use traps so where the cat responsible found it I have no idea but I so wish that I had a camera to witness the moment this was brought into the garden.

I haven't felt like blogging lately but just had to share that as this really tickled me today.

Birth sampler

I finished this yesterday:



I just have the details to add which I am thinking about as although it is a different picture to my first nephews sampler as they are brothers I am wondering if I want the wording similar. However the set up is different so I am trying to work out if I can fit it in as I did the date in full which this isn't charted for. I also left off Benjamin's weight so think I want to do that again but need to work out the placements. This is one thing I didn't consider when I was trying to make the samplers different but not so much that one feels they got more than his brother. Not sure being boys they will even notice or care but am determined not to show favouritism even at this stage-I mean I even panicked as this one for Oliver has sparkly thread for the bubbles in it-what am I like?
I think the colours is fairly true to life as the background uploaded a bit dark so I changed it in the software to look brighter-it was stitched on Antique White but looked grey in the original picture, but you get the idea. ;-)

New Year

I hope everyone is having a good New Year so far and that it is a good year for all. Although mine was quiet it was nice as we went out for a meal on New Years Day, something we haven't done before and it was really nice and may well become a new tradition. It was especially nice as Christmas was a bit of a non event-I won't say it was bad because it wasn't but it was quiet and I had quite alot on my mind. One thing was something that has bothering me for over a month now which is problems with the arm they use for dialysis. It has been painful and aching when I have been away from the machine so I felt I ought to report it as any change does need investigating. The week before Christmas I went for a scan on it to check all was ok and there were some problems seen but I left reassured that they were not serious and if needed to be easy to sort out. To cut a long story short I expected to hear nothing until this year but instead I got a phone call on Christmas Eve suggesting after discussions with a surgeon it wasn't as simple as I had been told. I can't remember all that was said now but it boiled down to the fact that there was a fair chance I would lose this site and even a slightly veiled reference to perhaps going in straight away if it wasn't Christmas-although I could have read that wrong but it's the impression I got. I was told to monitor it over the next couple of weeks and then it was strongly suggested I make an appointment to see the surgeon to discuss the options, which seemed to be few. I know I may have overeacted but it really shook me up for a few reasons: Any threat to the site is to be taken seriously as in theory a patient can run out of places to dialyse on, which isn't common but can happen and as you can imagine the repercussions are not good. The surgeon who refused me a transplant did suggest that dialysis may not be an option forever so I started to panic he was right and this was the beginning of a nasty trend, plus since then trusting medical people is a bit of an issue with me. Anyway I thought I had this last one in control until my nurse at dialysis gave me something to read and that was a report of what the surgeon had said. In essence he isn't worried and doesn't want to see me unless the pain is unbearable so I can only imagine that all this other stuff was discussed but never really an option. So I was really quite cross as although some of it matched what I was told most of it was a huge exaggeration, but I was happy to let it go. However apparently the link nurse has emailed the person who made that phone call to say something as they felt it inappropriate to ring me on Christmas Eve and to say what they did.

Anyway I am trying to leave it in the past but it did make Christmas a little less glossy shall we say but the New Year is shaping up a bit better, so far. I have hardly stopped though as an assignment is due in on Tuesday-which has now gone, but there is loads of reading to catch up on. I am deciding what my rotation will consist of this year and should start that once a birth sampler for my second nephew is finished-probably this week. As the exchange rate is so poor I am resisitng buying anything at the moment and I am determined to stitch from my stash as much as possible this year. Finally as you can see from the pictures in the last post they are now showing properly-not sure what it is but if I upload something from my computer which is square it tends to flip it round. Therefore I have to upload it from Photobucked for it to be the right way round-I have no idea why this is so but at least I know how to fix it-I eventually remembered I had the same problem with MVI.