Monday, July 04, 2011


Well its been a very long time since I last wrote here and so much has happened that it is impossible to know how to summarise it all. What I will say is that although in reality nothing has changed everything feels very different. This is because this time last year I didn't know that I was about to be hit with one of the biggest challenges of my life when I was admitted to hospital with a serious infection. At first it seemed like a straight forward admittance in that it was obvious I had an infection so I thought I would go in and have some antibiotics and come home and carry on where I left off. As you can probably tell that was not the case and over the following weeks and months I underwent numerous scans and tests in a bid to get me well, but at one point it seemed like this was a battle I may not win. I have to say there are times I had imagined myself in such a situation but it wasn't at all like I imagined. For a start I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be, but the one emotion that suprised me was profound sadness at what I would miss, but that also somehow gave me the strength to keep fighting as I wasn't giving in that easily. The main problem I had was that I needed specialist input from a gynaecologist and it just didn't happen as the one who was treating me failed to take any action and left it to the renal team to do what they could. Out of desperation I asked for another opinion and then things really got moving as he got me in for surgery as a matter of urgency and although I had a bumpy recovery I got there in the end. However the experience left me profoundly shaken both physically and mentally as I didn't expect to become so ill and then have to fight to get the right treatment. I was in and out of hospital from July until October and spent a total of just over eight weeks as an inpatient and it is only now I am starting to feel somewhat like my old self again.

But as I said everything feels different because I have spent the year recovering so life around me has moved on but it feels like I have been left behind in some respects. Certain friendships seem to have shifted since this happened and I am not sure where I fit in now but maybe it is a natural progression rather than an effect of the illness. The other thing that is different about this year is that I haven't been studying as it was not possible to even consider it and although I have just one course to do before I get my degree I am not sure I want to do it. However I still want my degree and I think I am just out of practise so need to just grit my teeth and jump in when October comes as it will be worth it in the end. Thanks to getting a first for the big assignment for my last course it bumped me up to a 2.1 for the course as a whole so I now can't get a degree lower than a 2.2and if I do well enough I may just get a 2.1 degree which would be a dream come true so it is worth persevering. The other thing that has changed is that I am not on the transplant list at the moment as I got taken off in early August whilst in hospital and still remain suspended now. I have had scans and tests and am waiting to hear from the surgeon if it is still possible to have a transplant. The main issue is that the infection was right where they would operate to put the kidney in and there is a concern that I could be at risk they will cause another infection. If this were to happen at a time my immune system was suppressed it wouldn't be good and although they have reassured me they could deal with it I would likely lose the kidney if this happened. As I have said before I am at higher risk of it not working so how many risk factors will they accept before they say no. That I can only leave to the surgeon but it is a stressful time waiting for the outcome.

As you can imagine having a long recovery has given me plenty of time for my craft stuff and here another change has been hearalded as I have returned to card making and am loving it. In fact this is one reason why I am restarting my blog as I have discovered all the challenge sites and very soon I wll be putting up some pictures of cards I am entering into various challenges. I am still cross stitching and knitting but haven't been keeping my albums up to date as I just haven't felt like it but progress is being made.

I think thats all for the moment so I will stop there before I bore you all silly with my ramblings.

1 comment:

Gina said...

Great to see you are blogging again!!I hope you keep it up - I have missed your blogs!