A quick thank you

To all those that commented on my last post. Your love and support mean an awful lot to me and it does help me to stay strong.
I have had a breakthrough in my studying today and also in the last 24 hours have had even more proof-as if it was needed that to leave the group was the best thing possible. I am not even upset that they are having a meeting soon and in actual fact I am relieved that I am not going as it is brewing up and every little update suggests more and more tension in the ranks.
This week is going to be a busy one with sorting out this assignment and hopefully getting some stitching done inbetween and I am aiming to get some new pictures up by the end of the month. Watch this space folks. :-)

I got THE brown envelope!!

Which contains my last and final Tma which has to be done under exam conditions. There is a desclaimer in it to say it wasn't opened before hand and was completed in a room on your own and in two hours. Its all becoming very near and final that we are at the end of this course. I still have the final Tma to go into my tutor at the beginning of May and then it's a couple of weeks of looking back at the course this last times Tma and thats it folks as they say.
Just after the course officially finishes I am back in clinic again and may well have reached a decision by then. Some things are becoming pretty clear anyway in that the original surgeon who refused me is not someone I trust enough with this complex operation. The juries still out as to whether he will agree or not and although I don't doubt his actual surgical skills most of my trust in him has gone which considering the circumstances would make the whole thing far more stressful. So I intend to tell my consultant that if I go ahead I want it noted that I won't accept him-unless he can explain his actions in a justifiable way which I don't think he will.
This whole thing has thrown up quite a few feelings this weekend and made me realise that with what he told me at the time I have been living a kind of half life. It was only a few months after this that I met Sara and helped set up the group which gave me meaning and purpose back into my life as well as someone to share the ups and downs with. So it kind of feels now we have come full circle except it's not we its just me and I hate that as she should be here now and have had her transplant and be doing great. Her death took some of the gloss off my world and as it was not exactly brilliant white at the time anyway and since then for a time it got very dark indeed. I feel I have come through everything that has happened since quite well all things considered and although it's taken me longer to heal than I thought it would I can feel the process is taking place. Sure I will always miss her ringing me up just to laugh, cry or moan about the lazy boys and I miss not being able to just pick the phone up to do the same and thats never going to change. But alot of the guilt over me leaving and not making it work for her sake has gone and some memories of the happy times have returned. I will always miss my buddy and in some ways the group as it was a life saver at a time I needed it, but ultimately it could have ended up destroying me and thats the part I will always feel sad about.
However I am still here and it hasn't destroyed me and I have started a new chapter in my life, which brings us back to the OU. I am definitely signing up for a further course and have almost decided which one it will be. I keep flitting between two but I am slightly more drawn to one called 'Exploring the Classical world'. I really loved all the bits of this course which focused on this era. We only touched on the Roman gladiators and Colleseum and one Classical play-Medea so I would love to learn much more. I really want to find out how they lived and worked and everything really so its pretty sure it will be that one I go for. It only has one start date a year which will be February next year so a nice long break filled with stitching, gaming and reading is probably just what the Doctor ordered.
So whats happening stitching wise? Well I am still sticking to the rotation and so far its still working well but as not all pieces are possible on a dialysis days I am stitching my Mini Kats wallhanging and simple parts on MIX on those days. I have nearly finished February of Mini Kats-January is done around a week ago and MIX I have finished part 2 and about half of 3. I have said before keeping up is not a priority and it isn't but the Medieval town one is getting more and more wonderful and I may have to squeeze it in. I have got to errr part 1 lol which is finished but obviously I have alot of catching up to do on that one. I may also get my knitting needles out again as I still have a baby hat to do for my friends and would like to knit more for them in the future.

Got myself that treat

After my great exam result I treated myself to A-ha's greatest hits album and as it was in the sale for half price the Rayman game for my DS.
We were up the mall today after my surgical appointment and had a little wander and as I decided to see if they had the album I checked out the rest of the stock too. I also wanted to get some slim bootleg jeans but so far haven't foudn any that are quite right so thats for next time.
So what about the appointment? Well we managed to get parked easily and prepared ourselves for a long wait as these surgical clinics are usually heaving, but on arrival there were only a few others there. We didn't have to wait long but it was all a bit disjointed as he kept looking for old test results and being sure he had everything in order as he was also concerned something was being missed. So echoes of the other surgeon creep in again as he is so well respected they all wonder how he got it so wrong. But got it wrong it seems he has so now I wait as he chases a couple of old tests up and decides if he wants anymore. He was going to do an abdomen x-ray but when I said I had one in November he ripped the form up lol and will check on some other things before deciding if I need any more investigations. However as things stands he is pretty positive that a transplant should be technically possible He acknowledges it could be impossible due to scar tissue as the others have already said but he thinks the chances of success are pretty good and quite alot better than the last surgeons opinion.
When I got home I had a little stash parcel waiting for me in the shape of the next two Mini Kats for the wall hanging-why do I call it that when I will probably frame it, with the variegated threads needed and also two spools of Kreinick for TW's Castle. I did a glittery conversion and have run out of how many spools I have used but this time got an extra one which 'should' be enough.

Obsessive email checking over

And would you believe it I got the highest yet at 80%. Yay!!!! In the end I emailed my tutor as it seemed something may have gone awry and indeed it had as I should have got it 8 days ago. DOH!!!! However you have to allow them at least two weeks from the cut off date so I would have felt like I was hassling before that. I even apologised for being cheeky in my email and asking but boy am I glad I did lol.
I have popped into town today and then did a good few hours of study-enough so I can have most if not all tomorrow off. So the rest of the weekend is going to be stitching and general chill out time.
Starting to gear up for my appointment on Thursday but am expecting nothing as such as it could go anyway. Whatever scenario I work through in my head a different one will happen so I am just trying to quench my anxiety, which is not easy as I am quite stressed out at the moment in general.

Anyway Happy Easter all.

Easter decorating

As I wasn't in the mood to do any blog decorating at Christmas I am doing some Easter things instead. I haven't gone overboard but I quite like the smiley guys I have used.
This week has been a busy one as I am trying to get ahead with my studying and also had a couple of beauty appointments today. I now feel pampered although not exactly beautiful lol. I also finished my stitching rotation so am about to embark on round 6 tonight. I am so happy with it at the moment that I am going to stick with it for awhile yet and I can see real progress on all the projects in it.
Yesterday my consultant was on his monthly visit to the unit and I had already left a message asking if something had gone amiss with my surgical appointment. I had to leave a message as its rare that he is there when I was but yesterday he was and on his way out he came over and had a quick word. He said that the appointment had been chased up and it would be next week and to await a letter in the post. Just as I was thinking it was a good job I checked the letter arrived today and had been written earlier this week so it was in hand anyway-but its reassuring to check. He then asked how my foot was and I gave him a brief overview-although Sister may already have said something. However he is happy to leave it as its causing me no problems at all and agrees with the others that it's not worth messing with it if essentially it isn't affecting my life. Which is fair enough by me and one less thing to mention at my next clinic.
I am still obsessively checking my OU email and nothing so far to report but it should literally be any time now. I have also managed to get ahead so I can have Easter day itself off and as my appointment is a very late morning one next week I don't have to have the full day off then either.
The stitching show at Shepton Mallet is coming up-I think its next week but so far I can't decide whether to go or not. I don't need anything but its nice to go and see pieces in the flesh and there maybe the odd unmissable bargain too. I was thinking maybe I couldn't spare the time as it would mean another day off from studying but I have got ahead and now the appointment won't take a whole day away I may still go.
I hope you all have a lovely Easter if I don't blog before hand and a relaxing time is had by all.

Ok maybe I really shouldn't be on this wagon

I am a total failure at staying on the stitching wagon and just keep seeing more and more stuff I like. So far this week I have fallen for 2 Chatelaines which is no suprise I guess, and this time it is Mini M and Persian Iris Garden. I am tempted with the mini one as its the next series of gemstones and as I did all the others then I kind of want to stay in that vein. As for Persian well its a Mandala so that pretty much says it all. My resolve is not helped by the fact I have a couple of sizeable GC's to be used as well which could cover a big portion of both of these if I didn't get the whole kit especially for the garden.
I also started my mini kats wall hanging and finished the January one in around 3 days so that was good going and they are hopefully going to be good fillers inbetween my rotation.
As well as the above I have a few things on order-mostly stuff needed to finish things in progress or stash but to make shipping worthwhile a few other things may have entered the mix. But when theres a sale on whats a stitcher supposed to do?
Other than stitching I am having fun with my DS and picked up the out of stock game which I got with my package-Sonic Rush yesterday which is just WOW undescribable. I am so happy with all 3 games I got in this package and love them all. This is one hand held I won't get bored of easily.
But I still need to concentrate on the OU stuff as we are on the downward slope of it now. You wouldn't believe how stressed that makes me feel and I know its because I really don't want it to go pear shaped now. I am willing my body not to become ill until after so I know I have done it and haven't wasted months of work to come out with nothing. Actually scrub that last sentance I am willing my body not to be ill at all lol. At the moment I am waiting for the lastest assignment to be returned and as it comes via my OU email I am clicking the link oooh several times a day but it should be soon now.
Dialysis is pretty much ok but I didn't blog about the problem of last Monday. The main water filter broke and it was hours before we could actually dialyse and even then we ended up doing far less as it was evening by then and the staff just made us safe until we returned on the Wednesday morning. Other patients were transferred elsewhere and for awhile it was quite stressful as we could have ended up anywhere dialysing. The situation wasn't helped at it was Monday so we had all just had our longest stretch so really couldn't go much longer without dialysis, if there were to be no knock on effects. However the staff were fantastic at getting us all sorted and kept a level head and ensured patient safety first and although its not something that is desirable to happen it was handled very well indeed.
Right going to grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and see whats going on elsewhere. Might just go and check the OU page again!! ;-)

Stash

I received a lovely stash parcel in the post today. I needed some threads that I couldn't find anywhere so on Paula's recommendation I went to Down sunshine lane. As it would have been crazy to buy just two threads from the USA I also got some Cougar scissors which have been raved about and if any good are a fantastic price and a scissor fob as I am a bit of a collector of them. So here is the stash:

And a close up of the scissors and fob. The charms are all stitching related and the soveriegn has I love cross stitching on it with a heart and something else I am trying to make out on it and it is just fabulous:

For now after my recent splurges I am firmly back on the wagon but had to show you this as it is so pretty.