One final bout of stalking

I went into the main message board for my old course at the weekend and stumbled across the news that our results are coming early-this week in fact. On investigating how true this is I found out it is listed on our student homepage so it is supposedly gospel. Eeekkk. I really hadn't thought anything about it as it was too far away to worry about but now it is looming I want to keep stalking the page where it will say. I also wish they hadn't put the word 'by' when giving us a date as now I feel it could be anytime up to then. If we had just been told it will be on this certain date I could just go and check it on the day concerned. Yes I am being cagey I know but I feel like it is tempting fate if I tell anyone which day it is-even may family don't know.
Stitching wise I am getting near to a number of finishes and still can't work out what to do about a new rotation, so for the moment I am having a break and stitching on the Margaret Sherry when Big Brother is on, my mini kats piece and the class piece I took with Gina which I have nearly finished. It would be great to have a number of finises together but the downside is that it will be ages before I have any more significant ones if I don't stagger it. Which brings us back to what to do about a rotation. Hmmm.

The red arrows

They have just put on a spectacular display on the seafront and although we live a good couple of miles away our house is perfectly positioned:


The beginning:




The starburst:



And they also did their turns to go back over us this year. It is pot luck whether they do this or not and this year it was a real treat:



This is my favourite picture as two of them came screaming overhead, before being joined by the other two in the above picture:

Nearly there

I don't usually post many wips but felt I had to show how close I had got to finishing Angel of the morning this rotation round. I actually only estimated I would get the wing finished and possibly a very tiny part of the halo. So this progress means I will finish it in the next round, which won't take that long as I am changing my rotation to get some obligation stitching done. I have to think how the rotation is going to work but for the moment here is the Angel in all her glory:

Half way through Mini Kats

I am now officially at the half way point and can honestly say I am really enjoying this piece. Although they are not necessarily designed to be stitched on one piece of fabric they are blending together well at the moment:

Good news

At long last I have some good news to share and today seems to be overflowing with it. I seem to have got my fluid balances under control and my blood pressure is more acceptable, plus I am no longer anaemic. This alone was enough to put a smile on my face but when I got home the postie bought a letter from my consultant. Apparently now they have done all they need to do to satisfy themselves that I can be put on the kidney transplant waiting list. I really can't say how I feel at the moment as it means a very long hard slog is over but it also signals that the surgeon was wrong and I have been living under false pretences the last few years. I am obviously relieved that I am in better shape than I was told and that at long last the wrong has been righted but I do know that the anger will kick in again at some point.
I also saw the psychologist this week which sometimes brings it all back so the two combined will probably affect me at some point. However it is part of the process and at least fingers crossed I can look forward to more peace of mind. I actually think she may have known when I saw her as she said some stuff which in hindsite could mean she did. However it wasn't for her to tell me and whether she did or didn't the session was helpful which is all I can ask for really.
This weekend I intend to stitch and lounge in the garden, but I could also be buying stitching supplies as I happened to mention I would be intrested in a stitch along on a board I use. Even though I don't actually have the chart or anything else to stitch Mirabilia's Stargazer lol I may well be tempted to join in with them when it starts in a few weeks. Which also means as it's not an immediate start I have time to buy the supplies lol.

It's a scorcher!!

This week has been one of the hottest that I have ever known. On our way back from a hospital appointment on Tuesday the temperature guage on the car hit 37 C. We usually go to The Mall afterwards but it was so hot we had a quick wander then left to visit Hobbycraft. This was beautifully air conditioned but for once I didn't spend anything. I think with the heat I just felt too worn out.
The heat is also affecting my fluid balance and combined with my low blood pressure it is causing a few issues. I need to drink to keep my blood pressure up but don't want to drink so much that dialysis can't remove it so working out the right amount of fluid to drink at the moment is not so easy. All the other patients are having similar issues but as low blood pressure is unusual in kidney patients they haven't got that worry on top. Don't ask me why it's so low as I have no idea except that it always has been low but just reached new depths a few years ago. I am on a tablet which supposedly pushes it up but at times I wonder whether it works all that well. Maybe I would just be on the floor without it as I once was before being given the tablet.
Because it has been so hot I have done very little stitching but did manage to finish my rotation slot on The Castle and start Angel of the morning today. As it was cooler I got quite a bit done on her today and I am sure that I will finish this rotation round this month, at which point I am going to change it so that I can finish up some stuff. I don't know how I am going to change it but I do want to see what I can finish up this year.
One piece of slight excitement is that when the weather cooled yesterday a terrific wind came from nowhere. It blew over the standard lamp in the lounge which missed my mum by inches and would have got me if I had been sat stitching. Then the doors on my wardrobe were blown open and the ventian blind in the kitchen knocked the plants of the sill. Our poor Basil plant had already been eaten by a couple of caterpillars this week and now this. Today another bigger caterpillar was found chomping on it so I think it's days are numbered-we suspect the caterpillars are in the actual soil, so not sure the other one in the greenhouse will fare any better. It's a shame as I love the smell of basil and hate to think we can't save the plant-how soppy is that??
I also forgot to blog that Taffy went for his check up last week and although he seems as healthy as ever he has lost some weight. I saw him come in the door yesterday from a different angle and his haunches looked more wasted that before. I know he is an old cat but it bought it home to me that he won't be with us for ever. He has been around now over half my life and I love him dearly so I try not to think of the day we will part for good as hopefully it is a fair way off yet. He may have lost weight a few months ago when he didn't eat very well for several days but then I would have expected it to go back on, it could be the heat or an age thing. Lets hope it is something simple and he certainly appears healthy as even in this heat if he gets a fright he can bomb up the garden as normal.
I think that is all for now and Taffy is here for a pet so will be back soon.

The shadow of the wind

This was a really good book and I throughly recommend it to all. It is set in Barcelona and spans several decades and is a mixture of historical, romantic, thriller and as one reviewer said gothic horror. All these are true but the gothic horror is stretching it a tad because it isn't really very gory or blood thirsty but I do see why they said that as it involves creepy mansions and other slightly dark topics.
Without giving too much away a young boy is taken into the cemetry for forgotten books and asked to choose just one and that decision changes his life in every conceivable way. We find out so much about the boy and his subsequent development into a man as well as the parallels of life he ends up having with this author.
As well as suspenseful it is also thought provoking as you work out why there is such an intrest in this book he has hold of and the fact that choosing this one book has shaped his entire life. There is also quite a bit of humour within the book and literally nothing is left unanswered even down to a ridiculous promise being fulfilled in the most unlikely way.

What a weekend

What a truly fantastic weekend I had at the GTG. It was just brilliant from start to finish and only a couple of things marred it-more on that in a moment. The Friday night staying with Gina was really great fun as we chatted and stitched and fondled Gina's stash and then went to bed fairly early so we could hit the road the next day at a nice early hour. The drive up was incident free and we then met up with Pat at the B&B and duly Amanda and daughter Kathryn arrived and then bringing up the rear was Joy-no offence Joy. ;-) Then we all set off to Kate's and had a fabulous time eating, stitching and presenting Kate with her baby shower basket which she was really overwhelmed with it all. There was also plenty of time to see other's works both in progress and finished and my wish list has expanded again lol. Then in the evening after watching the gorgeous David Tennant in Dr Who we all went to the pub for a lovely meal and a good long gossip session. Unfortunately there were too many of us to have tables together so once everyone had finished eating we ended up in a cosy corner having a really good chin wag. Then the Sunday saw us head off to Wye needlecraft in Bakewell where I was quite restrained. I bought:

Shepherd's Bush's Apple kissed autumn
Drawn Thread's Forget me not
Indigo Rose's My Michelle
A set of bellpulls with dark wooden acorns on the end for MVII

Then we adjourned to the pudding shop for lunch and afterwards it was time to set off home. The journey back was ok apart from the usual roadworks but after Gina dropped me at Swindon station things got intresting. There was a delay on the next train so I sat down to read and was almost too tired to do so and when it came got into the family carriage as I thought it would be good for a snooze. Unfortunately the guy who was diagonally across from me was high on drugs so I did all I could to avoid his eye and was relieved when he got off at Bristol. However as he left the train I saw my suitcase follow him too and ended up hoofing it down the train calling "That guys got my case". As luck would have it his friend who wasn't high stopped at the door and he then gave the case back to him-once he had waved it around a bit. I put it back in the luggage rack and told him he would look really stupid in my clothes-even more so than now and sat down. However I was concerned he might nip back on for it so went down to check it again and then realised that I could have been hurt or stranded at Bristol by tackling him but instinct took over. If I had lost my bag only my digital camera would have been worth anything monetary but I also had some stitching in it too as well as other stuff of sentimental value. Weirdly when I was packing at the B&B I thought I ought not to put my prized stitching in there even though there was room-premonition I wonder?? I had everything in a tote bag on the way up as food for the GTG was in the case but as I had room I thought I would leave room in my tote for the Wye shopping spree lol and put some stitching in the case and although I wouldn't want to lose anything stash wise I kept all my wips that are nearly done exactly where I could see them. :-)
So I got home around 10 that night and this was the second incident to occur which very slightly marred the weekend. I had already received a text to tell me that someone from the group was posting about Sara's death in several places and told me as I asked for gossip and as a warning. Now it always hurts when stuff is being said about her but some of it was so blatantly untrue that I got angry. This person had obviously telling people he had been with her when she was desperately ill which is so not true and was making out that they were best friends and he was absolutely there for her whenever she needed it. I know people's perception of events are different so the last one I could let go but I was NOT happy that he was suggesting he had supported her in hospital, especially when he never actually asked to go. One of the other men did however ask several times to see her as he had a real soft spot for her and I knew when he read it that being the person he is would believe it. So on Monday I caught him on msn and explained it wasn't true in any way shape or form and he got quite upset over it all and I ended up emailing the following day an apology for upsetting him as something I said about the group was also taken the wrong way and, unbeknown to me he had already sent me a text. This one said that he saw the other guys sign on name on msn which also referred to it and had got upset but wasn't going to say anything to make the situation worse as he had also been through alot. That is so far where it ends but it was difficult as it was someone I haven't been in touch with for a long time but didn't want him thinking something that wasn't true. Maybe I should have left well alone on this but maybe I also needed to talk to someone who understands how overt public stuff like that can upset us. I seem to have a nurturing bone inside me that wants everyone to be ok and not upset too and although it is probably not taken as it should be it's a part of me I like. I do like to be able to help other's and I am proud that I do even if my world is not great at the time and a part of me wonders if that was the right thing to do.
Since then I have chilled out as the last few weeks have caught up with me as they have been very busy. But I did manage to finish Shadow of the wind today and will write a review in a minute and I am also getting along with some stitching stuff and slowly getting out of my slump.

Off again!!

Another weekend away beckons and this time we are at Kate's house. I am leaving tomorrow and staying with Gina so we can have an early start on Saturday morning. There will be another big crowd at this weeks and today I have been packing and sorting out what I am taking with me. I have got my camera and going to endevour to use it this time lol at both Kate's and the visit to Bakewell on Sunday.
Then next week I have nothing in my diary and for once a clear weekend so I will try and get back into my stitching as seem to have got into a slump. When I was doing my course there was only a small window in the day I could stitch and now I am free to do so I am out of the habit. I guess this is no bad thing as I have a chance to do other things but I also want to get on and finish some stuff before my next course starts.

Back from the weekend

This weekend I attended my first Judy Dixon class with Gina and I really, really enjoyed it. So much so we both signed up for another hardanger class later in the year. We are also booked in for an embroidery one in September and I am already looking forward to them. Gina has been to Judy's classes many a time and I have a funny feeling I may have found another designer who's designs I could get attached to. I think the way Judy runs the classes has as much to do with the whole experience as it was just so relaxed and it was just like stitching at home.
After the class I now feel alot more confident about drawn thread and hardanger and I think alot of my problem in the past is my bull in a china shop attitude-I tend to charge at things without taking due care. So now I have a feeling I am more likely to consider some of those designs I had previously ignored because they looked too tricky. I have also been looking at Cottage dreams by Judy for quite some time now and bought the kit off her on Saturday which was the cherry on the cake for me.
On Saturday evening we met Maria for a lovely meal and a good old catch up and I can honestly say I enjoyed every moment of the weekend. Gina was a fantastic host and her family were a delight to share time with and without sounding majorly gushing I can't wait for next time.
As things often come in three's this weekend brings the final stitching weekend for awhile. Kate is holding a GTG at her home and a trip to Bakewell the following day and I am very much looking forward to it.
I haven't got much planned for the week as I am relaxing so that I am ready for the weekend, and it is just too hot to really feel like doing anything very much. I will try and get some stitching done at some point but I think in truth it's more practical to just lounge around and try not too wilt. Hopefully the weather will break soon and it will become a bit cooler.

Baby news

My brother and his girlfriend had the 20 week scan today and all is fine. We now know that we will have a new baby boy in the family and I am really chuffed. I didn't mind as long as it was healthy but out of all the babies born I know of lately they have been almost exclusively girls. The radiographer was apparently absolutely definite that she had this correct as she described my nephew to be as having 3 legs. I now have weird mental images of what this poor chap is going to be like but I am sure that is a gross exaggeration lol.
It seems weird to think I will be an auntie this year but I am going to start looking for things to knit and sew soon. I think I may change my rotation after this round as I am building up a collection of obligation pieces that need to be done:

A baby hat for my friends daughters birthday in October.
The same little girls birth sampler.
A birth sampler for my nephew.
Something knitted-maybe another hat or mittens for my nephew.

I did think about getting the new Patons kit for the last one as they do one now which has new born essentials containing hat, mittens and booties. This would also be a slight learning curve for me as there would be a bit more shaping and twiddly bits involved in it. I am still very much a novice so can't go mad but think this could be a good start.
I am also off for the weekend again and this time me and Gina are taking a Judy Dixon class. Gina has been several times but this will be my first experience. This one is in drawn thread and hardanger, which I have done haphazardly so I would like some expert input. Then on Saturday evening we are meeting Maria for dinner so it's going to be a fun packed and busy weekemd.
Finally I am again away next weekend but I will blog about that in the week and then my social life will quieten down a bit and I can gear up for the next ones.

The downsides of Get together's

Is that they never last long enough and that my credit card is severley rattled at all the things I now have in my wish list. Not only did we have all the beautiful wips and finishes on show but Karolines house where the GTG took place is crammed full of samplers which are just to my taste. Some I have here in my stash and other's will probably get added at some point but for now I need to keep my wip count down.
It was so nice to see everyone again and have a good old chat and catch up. This is the furthest I have been to a get together but it wasn't as bad travelling as I thought and apart from falling asleep in front of Big brother Sunday night I haven't realy had any extra tiredness from it.
So now we gear up for the next one a week Saturday, again up north but not quite so far and this time Kate is the host. There is also a good needlework shop in the area and we will probably visit that on the Sunday. That time I will try and take pictures as I forgot to take my camera out for this one. I think everyone was the same as so far only one group picture has been posted.

Off we go a wandering

Tomorrow I am off to my first overnighter stitchers gtg. I am really looking forward to it and a much needed break. It will mean an extremely early start tomorrow but thats not a bother and I have camera charged so I can share lots of pictures afterwards.
In other news everything is ticking along ok and this week I had my second visit to the psychologist and I have to say she is fantastic and has made me see things on so many other levels and this time I haven't had that awful after effect either. The sessions have also made me evaluate things we haven't discussed and some of my anger and distress over the group are now starting to make sense too. I still know I am a long way from total peace and not sure such a thing is possible when dealing with a chronic illness but I know the brave step of asking for this help was worth it.
I don't seem to have alot of news at the moment to blog about, but I have a busy summer coming up so I will be able to post lots of piccies of happy times. :-)

I am in the clear

After a very long tiring day I am much relieved as everything is fine and I have no serious abnormalities. I do have a small cyst but apparently they are very common and shouldn't cause me and problem. I think the one stop clinic is an excellent idea but that waiting after all the tests are done is not so good. This clinic sees everyone and sends them for appropriate tests and once they have gone through they start on calling you back for the results. I have to say most came out with smiles but one has to have further investigations and another was admitted straight away. Given the statistics that's probably about right but statistics mean nothing when you are the one who goes the wrong way. It really does show how precious life is and it can turn both good and bad on an axle and really living for the hear and now is possibly the best attitude.
Anyway onto other stuff. The OU reunion was absolutely superb on Friday night and I don't think I have laughed so much in a very long time. Several pictures were taken and one even showed our tutor with a shiny halo above his head. I don't know whether it was a trick of the light or something on the wall but it was rather amusing. I got back quite late but felt really good considering I also dialysed that day. The following day I went into town and then stitched with the England match on in the background.
It has been so hot this weekend and I managed to relax and chill out in the garden with my book and generally this is something we are not used to in this country. The weather broke early today with a big thunderstorm and lots of rain, but it looks like the good weather will be back in the next day or two.
Finally can you believe that tomorrow spells a year of blogging? It doesn't seem possible really and I haven't kept to my goal of blogging every day but it's fairly regular and I hope at times of interest to read. I have found it very therapeutic when coping with the problems of this year and I hope that my upset's have been countered by the good stuff.

What a great suprise!!

Yesterday I received a suprise package in the post. I got Tocatta number 1, the fabric and some Vicki Claytons to stitch it with. I think I know who posted it, but whether it was on behalf of someone else or from them I am not sure. It was on my wishlist and it was a fantastic suprise and I am thrilled to bits with it. Whoever you are many thanks once again and it was a lovely thing to receive.
Today is dads birthday so we have been out for a lovely lunch and generally having a chilled out day, but I think on the whole he is enjoying it. Tomorrow I have my OU reunion which I am looking forward to but I just hope I feel ok after dialysing. Lately I have been very tired and Friday's are worse so I have my fingers crossed that it will be ok. It is taking place at one of the students house in Bath so I will be going up by train, but getting a lift to and from the station. It is also an evening thing and I don't think it will be a mega late night.
One piece of bad news is that I found a tiny lump in my breast a couple of weeks ago and my GP has referred me to the specialist clinic. He is almost positive it is nothing but they have a protocol that if they can feel it you must go to this clinic. It is a one-stop place and you get the results on the day and I go straight after dialysis on Monday. I only got referred on Tuesday so that isn't bad going. At present I don't feel too concerned but of course there is that inevitable niggle in the back of my mind, but my GP was so reassuring that has helped alot with how I feel. I so don't need this extra concern at the moment but at least it isn't going to be a drawn out business.

It's been awhile

I have not blogged for awhile as I have had alot on since finishing my course and much of it has given me food for thought. As I said in a previous post I requested to see a psychologist as my head was all over the place with the transplant saga. I really did not want to go when it came to it but decided I couldn't carry on the way I was so I took a deep breath and off I went. I was expecting it to initially make me feel worse as stuff got dredged up but I was not prepared for the onslaught of emotion it has bought about. One thing it did do was clarify some of my thoughts about things I needed to find out to help make a decision and what the core issues were. So having worked out the former I went in to see my consultant the following week for my routine appointment and I asked him the questions that had been niggling-some of them unconciously. What transpired was that what I had feared that I had been living a lie for four years was mostly correct. I could have gone on the transplant list then and would never have had to live with what has come to be seen as my core issue. It took quite awhile to come to terms with not being able to ever have a transplant unless some miracle occurred but the most difficult thing to get my head round was the way the surgeon delivering the news went about it. He gave me lots of time scales as to when a transplant would be an emergency and then they would consider it but I would have to be aware that it was 50/50 it would kill me. As I had gone to the appointment with the idea that I was going to be listed for a transplant but wanted all the risks outlined this was the last thing I was expecting. Further more he ranted about how he would have to live with it if the worst happened as well as my family and friends if they did a transplant then when dialysis was working well for me. It has to have been one of the most traumatic moments of my life and for some reason it was an appointment I went into entirely alone as I had a strong feeling I should do so-don't ask me why as I always have someone there but I digress. So this is the core of my distress that I came to terms and coped with something so traumatic and now the anger and upset has kicked in knowing this should never have happened and where we are now we should have been then. I can't even think about the lost time and what my life could be like now as that is pointless but it makes it all the more clear that doctors have to be so careful in the way they say stuff. I actually think if I hadn't had some of these other things said to me at that time then I wouldn't feel like I do now to such an extent.
During the session we also touched on the loss of Sara and the psychologist said that is two massive things to have happened and she doesn't know about all the other awful things too. It is a good job that there doesn't seem to be a maximum number of sessions as there are in some places as there is alot of material to cover. Although I don't think I can completely tell her everything that happened especially where the kidney group is concerned but that is slowly resolving itself anyway.
The group is so far removed from what Sara envisioned now with so much back biting and poison going on I am glad to be away. It no longer feels like what we all started and certainly the idea of patients being supported is at best laughable. The only thing that has the capacity to upset me now is the veiled references by the members left of how important she was and how hard it has been for them all. I totally agree with that and of course I am feeling it too but I don't need to publicly write it on message boards and more over IF they felt bad why can they not see that I did too and treated me better. But to be honest I get the sense it is used when it suits others to do so and to make a point which is too complicated to go into here. I am no longer in touch with any of them and although I thought there was at least one who would stick by me it turns out that this is not to be. I hope we can still be friends but they are now being very distant and I feel completley abandoned. But then maybe starting again is no bad thing when it comes to it.
Anyway onto the good stuff. I am stitching quite a bit and really enjoying having a bit more time to do so. I started my big brother marathon and after two weeks I am making good progress on my Margaret Sherry design. I also finished part 3 of MIX and I am a few hours away from finishing this entire rotation round. Angel of the morning by L&L is the final piece and she is nearly there. I am certain she will be finished this year and hopefully in the next few rounds and I am just in love with the piece. I also only have May on my Mini Kats to do before I order the next two and that means excellent progress has been made there too.
I am also deciding which OU course to do next and keep wavering at the moment. I thought I had made a definite decision yesterday but on thinking carefully about it I saw some flaws in the plan so I am re thinking again lol. We are having a tutor group reunion in Bath next Friday so maybe talking it over then with the students and our tutor may help. This evening is going to be an informal celebration of the course finishing and as I have to work out the logisitics of travel I came clean and said I am not being awkward but have medical issues. They were all fantastic about it which put in stark relief that there are good people in the world who are prepared to help and understand. It is what I expected of people in the same situation so when it didn't happen that was a shock and made me wary of coming clean, but it goes to show that if people are basically decent then it is not an issue.
There is also something else I have been keeping to myself for a long while now and that is that I am going to become an aunt in November. We knew right at the beginning as my brothers girlfriend had quite a few problems so he rang my mum for advice. But she is coming up for the last scan so all is going ok now. It is exciting but hasn't been without some problems here as mum adjusted to the idea, but as she has got her knitting out I am sure it is fair to say she is pleased. :-) Whether they decide to know the sex they don't know yet but as mum is knitting in white it will be fine.
Finally we booked a holiday in Lanzarote for the end of September. The place looks really nice and the dialysis unit has good machines and is staffed by many English nurses and has apartments attached. These apartments are next door but separated by a garden so we won't be right on top of the unit, has a pool and each one has a terrace or balcony. I have dialysed away from home before but never abroad so it should be an exciting experience. In fact I have never been abroad or on a plane before so it will all be very new and I am looking forward to a good break. If anyone has been and knows of some good things to see and do that may not be in the guide books please let me know.

A small finish

This was a SAL with Scully and Deb and was great fun to do. I never knew how easy the Whimzi frames were to use:

I am feeling a bit lost now my course has come to an end and after being on a high on Thursday as I posted the last paper, had a hair cut and bumped into an old friend I crashed yesterday. I didn't have a good dialysis but it was one of those days in general. I feel ok today and have pottered round town, put the picture together and done some stitching.
I think there is only Dr Who I want to watch on tv tonight as it is the Eurovision song contest which I don't really enjoy. Oh yes there is also Big brother and I started my Margaret Sherry cat design and am only stitching it when settled in for this progrma. There maybe some time before or after of stitching but so far it's going well.

I bit the bullet

And now my course is officially over. I am still hanging around the forum to cheer the rest on and out tutor group may well meet up again for an end of course meal. The unseen assignment went ok but not as well as I hoped. We knew it was going to be 4 questions on either Art History, Literature, Music or Philosophy. The first 3 are my strongest so I studied those as I hate philosophy and although I get it my grasp isn't as good on it. We only had to answer 2 subjects so as the first two were my strongest I revised music as a back up. The Art History question was ok and the picture easy to define and talk about but the next two were and I either panicked or couldn't get my head round it. So I went for philosophy with no revision as something in me told me it was ok and the only one I could reasonably do. So that part at the end was a bit waffly etc but I am hopeful I have done enough and we do only need 30% to pass the course.
So I am keeping everything crossed I have done enough to pass this course but have a tense few months to wait until I find out. However I really enjoyed almost all of it-even the parts where it stressed me out something chronic. I am pleased and proud of myself as I rose to the challenge in a year that was full of stress and upset and still kept going. I think it was a sort of saviour for me for much of the time but I wonder how I am going to be now it's over. But alot of the problems are reaching a sort of resolution now and my renal clinic referred me to a psychologist in the unit just to talk over some of my feelings. I requested the service on the back of the transplant situation and that I was just generally making myself ill with going round and round everything that was going on. Although I am in a better place than I was when I asked for it I am going ahead with it as I still have a fair amount of anger to work through and try and deal with. My first session is next week and then the following week I am back to see my consultant to talk everything through. He was actually at the unit for his monthly visit last week when I was and I received a letter in the post a couple of days later telling me my injection was increasing. I take EPO which is the banned drugs runners use but it is fine for us and for some reason my haemoglobin is not going up too well at the moment. It is most likely that I have had alot of niggly viruses which can knock it down, coupled with the fact that my iron stores went very low which also plunges the haemoglobin. So although my iron is fine now the viruses have probably stopped it coming up properly. This letter came from the people who deliver the drug so I was annoyed no one had told me, but I remember the consultant had been lurking by the scales when I was. I didn't say anything as assumed he would say something if he needed too. I was busy talking to the male nurse as we thought my weight was a bit odd but still in the end the message got through which was the main thing.
So now I am free to stitch alot more so I am likely to tweak my rotation a bit and have decided to go ahead with the big brother idea and will start another small kit on thursday as the new series starts. I have pretty much decided to start a Margaret Sherry one of a cat in an armchair which is gorgeous and I have been itching to start for ages-any excuse eh?

Just one hurdle to go

I checked online this morning and my assingment was there. Not suprisingly it is the worst mark yet at 62% but we only needed 30% to give us a fighting chance of passing the course so now it is the final hurdle. I have been checking online at what else I now need to pass and as long as I get 3o% in this last timed assignment I am home and dry. What pass level I get depends on how well I do but if I pass it will be level 3 or 2. But at the moment I have that last hurdle to jump which will be this week and as I feel well today I may bite the bullet and do it-got a phobia about being ill at the end and it going pear shaped.
Then later today I am going to start a piece called March hare by Just Nan which I am doing as a SAL with Scully and Deb is also going to join us. I love this piece and I am looking forward to a small easy non demanding piece of stitching.
Talking of Scully I feel sorry I missed chatting online to over the weekend and missed wishing her happy hols. So hope you have a good one and enjoy your rest and relaxation and talk to you soon.
Have a good day all.

Was one of those weeks

So much has happened this week and yet none of it I particularly want to blog about as it isn't so easy to do that. But one of the things was finally sorting out the stitching gtg's I am attending this summer and thanks to some great people I am lucky enough to be able to go to the ones up north this year. They are something I am very much looking forward to as I get to see all my online friends again and escape from here for a night or two. It is ok here but sometimes a break to recharge the batterires is no bad thing.
I am on email watch again for the last assignment to be returned and soon I have to sit down and do the timed assignment. I have penciled in next Saturday morning for it and then that's it the course is done and I will probably feel a bit lost for awhile. It is already winding down and I find myself at a loose end even now, but I am sure once I pick up my needle I again I will get lots of stitching done.
Talking of which I am having a crazy idea to do a big brother stitching marathon, in that I have got obsessed with it so why not combine the two. My idea is to pick a project and to stitch that whilst watching big brother and if I finish it I start another. I thought it maybe a good way of getting my stash pile of little kits down and reckon in the 3 month run I could get quite a few done. The series starts on Thursday and this week I am doing a SAL with Scully on Just Nans March hare so might make that my first big brother project. Watch this space folks??
Other than that it's been crazy this week and is starting to settle a bit now and I am off to chill for a bit before tea. Then it is the usual dance fever programme and swooning at David Tennant for the rest of the evening. I wonder if he will wear those glasses again lol lol.