Remember that last essay I did that I thought was badly wrong? Well I have just received the results and got 72% again. Furthermore where I thought I had gone wrong was fine and I only lost marks on some more minor things and a couple of omissions in one of the questions. Other than that things are ok here. I have been having an emotional crisis with the transplant situation and the kidney group taking center stage. After chatting to someone who advises patients and talking through the transplant thing I now have a clearer idea where I stand in attempting to find out what happened. As thought it maybe impossible but has given me some food for thought and I now have a clearer idea of my options. I think I will start off by having a full and frank discussion with my consultant next month and take it from there. As for the kidney group I am slowly getting there and realise that its affected me very deeply at a time when so much else is going on. There seems a big tanglement of that, Sara's death and the transplant issue all rolled together in a great big ugly knotted ball. I am trying to start at the beginning and unravel it and its not easy emotionally and can at times hurt like hell. Especially as Sara was my sounding board when I was upset and vice versa so the loss is awfully acute still. Also bringing me down are some ongoing health issues. It looks like my haemoglobin isn't shifting as they took it again yesterday after it was only done last Wedsnesday. I was a bit annoyed as I asked the nurse whether it had dropped and she said she wouldn't know as I am not in her team. We have a red and a green team and I am in red and she is senior staff nurse in green. But we are all patients in the unit surely and she could have offered to find out for me, but in the end as the consultant is on his monthly visit today I decided to wait until tomorrow and see what happens. However when you are physically or mentally low this attitude by the staff doesn't help. Incidentally when I blogged awhile ago about wondering if they weren't being open after it was taken last time and they didn't know why I now remember its the same nurse, so she probably didn't know. Obviously that is totally not the point but there is a pattern here lol and that is that even patients within the same unit are boxed off and its a bit mad. Ok rant over. Onto craft stuff. I have just 1 1/2 parts of MVIII to bead so watch out for a HD within days. Then I want to finish knitting my baby hat before shes too old to wear it and then I am going to do MIX on dialysis days and rotation on non-dialysis days for awhile. I hope that I can have several reasonable HD's this year and then start next year with less wips and stash. Cue rampant laughing from the wings.
Of my computer breaking down is my blog. I decided to mess with the template to get some stuff changed and lost it. With the computer chaos I thought I had saved it but I hadn't so I lost my whole template. Luckily Scully has sorted me out and the only losses are all comments, archives and links to old posts. I did actually figure out how to do both of those but wasn't sure what it would mean for the template so deleted it. Then just as I thought of the answer I had republished this blog. Oh well I can still read old entries so its no big deal. They start on the 1st Jan so its kind of an unplanned New Year, new start thing. I must do a write up of my first book finished of 2006 in a couple of days as it was really good and everything the Dan brown hype leads it to be. As for stitching well I am concentrating on finoshing the beading on MVIII. I have 3 gates and the outside to do which I am reckoning will take between a week and 10 days. This allows for non-stitching days too. So I should have a big HD this year.
On thursday I went up to The Mall in Bristol and bought a knitting pattern for some funky baby hats. I found a shop on ebay selling the Sirdar snowflake yarn for £1.85 whereas its usually £4.00 something so on Friday I bought a ball each of two colours and yesterday the wool came so I started the first hat. I am doing a lilac/pink/white combo for the first one which will be for 3-6 month old and then a funky pink one for next winter when the baby is a year old. I am really enjoying working with the snowflake yarn though mum has bailed me out once but on the whole its going ok. As for stitching well I am not sticking to any rotation as such but would like to finish MVIII this month-I have beaded upto around Part 5 now but other than that I have no firm plans.
Today I have spent 4 hours or more trying to get this lastest essay done and this is on top of the 2 hours yesterday. Also not forgetting the copious notes made over the weekend on this one makes it one of the most taxing. On the OU message boards past students say this one is by far the worst and my tutor has confirmed this with everyone in the last week. Yesterday was a weird day as I dialysed in the afternoon as I swapped for someone. As soon as I got there I found out another drug had changed. I was rung on Saturday to say that my BP medication had gone up but yesterday I found out my anaemia one has too. I got a print out of my results and noticed my haemoglobin has been swinging around for a couple of months. This explains why they did an emergency blood test a couple of months ago, but they blamed the lab. Its quite probable with lack of communication they genuinley didn't know why they were taking it but if they did I would rather know. However my haemoglobin is probably low because I am also a little low in iron and the two kind of work together. As mum was driving me hone she told me my Auntie Jenny had passed away. We knew she was ill as her husband wrote to tell us at Christmas but it seems very quick even so. Its years since I have seen her or my cousins from that side as she is my Uncles first wife so its not a branch of the family we see all that often. Its also a bit of a complicated family story which is too long-winded for here. Stitching wise I am formulating a rotation plan in my head but have decided to not make it a big deal if I don't keep up with the Chatelaines this year and to just enjoy whatever I am working on.
Remember taffy likes playing with the wool from my knitting? This is him this morning playing with the left over strands from yesterday's finish:
I sometimes forget he is 16 in April as occasionally like this morning he can act very kitten like. However in many ways he is turning into a dog as he is constantly there when meat or cheese might come his way.
Tonight I have finished knitting the scarf Scully gave me the kit of for my birthday. For a first attempt I am really pleased but so many times it nearly didn't get done. I think I restarted 3 times and a few days ago half the stitches came off the needles so it was mum to the rescue. In her words she cobbled it together and I sewed up some holes left behind. I think overall there are several such areas but the wool is so forgiving it doesn't show. So without further ado here it is:
I am back. I have a brand new spanking processor and have spent most of this afternoon book marking my favourites again and loading some software on. It appears a virus attacked our last one beyond repair but not withstanding it I am getting a new scanner and possibly a photo printer combination. We have lost our old drivers from the scanner and I can't easily find them online so am cutting my losses and going for an up to date one. I seem to be in a bit of a stitching slump. I started MIX on New Years day and I love it but can't really get any enthusiasm together to stitch anything much. I haven't felt 100% for a week now so I don't think that is helping either, plus I have an assignment to get done and have just felt generally run down and stressed out. Talking of OU work though I got my pre-christmas assignment back and got 72% again so I am more than happy with that. The next one is due in a week tomorrow and I wasn't sure I got it but today I had an hours phone tutorial and it seems to have gelled somewhat now. I am very impressed with the help you get from the OU as I get practical as well as financial help. Practically because I suffer from tiredness I get extra phone tutorials and checks that I am coping as well as parking places near to any face to face meetings. Plus its alot cheaper than studying for a degree at a local university. Health wise I am waiting on some news to try and cure low blood pressue. Its always been low but has gone mad and this seems in part because my mobility is better with higher calcium I am moving quicker. This in turn causes blood pressure drops if I stand up to quickly etc. It seems I can't win but also appears to be the motto of anyone with chronic illness.
Just a quick post to say my computer is sick and after trying to fix it, its looking terminal so we are investigating getting a new one. Hopefully I won't be MIA for very long but if so thats the reason why.
I am a 33 year old who is obsessed with stitching, reading, playing video games, the net and chilling out. I also study part time as I am on dialysis so can't currently work but as you can see I still keep busy.